Man allows friends to host wedding in his garden, protests when they tell him we can't attend because his ex doesn't want to see his new girlfriend: 'This request is ridiculous'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 13, 2025 4:00 PM EST

It is no secret that weddings are perhaps one of the most notorious social events for causing soap opera levels of personal drama. Despite being touted as one of the happiest days of a married person's life, there are often plenty of unexpected things that can go wrong on the big day or during the planning that leads up to it.

The thing that causes all the problems varies from wedding to wedding. More often than not, the event brings up old resentments or disagreements between family, and other times, the bride, groom, or one of their bridal party starts to cause problems. However, there is a whole range of things that can go wrong with the nuptials and the party to celebrate them. Sometimes, something as integral as the guest list becomes an issue that it seems to be impossible to get past, no matter how hard the organizers try.

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    Cheezburger Image 10466757376
    via Jonathan Borba

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One man felt like he was being unfairly discriminated against when he agreed to let his friend host his wedding in the sizeable garden that belonged to his grandparents' house, which he had recently bought. 

    Problems arose when he wanted to bring a plus one, as his ex, who is the bride's cousin and who he almost bought the house with, was also attending the wedding and did not want to acknowledge that he was dating other people.

    As a result, the bride and groom asked that he didn't bring a date. He strongly protested the request, annoying the couple. He wanted to be assured that he wasn't in the wrong.

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    Cheezburger Image 10466757888
    via jeremywongweddings
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    AITA for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding because they do not want me to bring a plus one?

    Here is the situation. Last summer, I bought my grandparents' house. This house was the hangout spot for my friends and I throughtout our childhood. This includes my friend "Dave." The house has a sizable amount of land, which includes a lake and a gazebo. I was supposed to buy the house with my now ex-girlfriend ("Leslie"). But, going through the process of getting approved to buy, I found out that she has massive amounts of credit card and personal debt that she hide from me throughout our fou
    via Long_Assistant8873
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    Dave and Kim are engaged and set to get married in April. When I was buying the house, they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo, which I agreed to do. In December, I started dating again. Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks we are going to get back together and has tried multiple times to make that happen. I have told her in no uncertain terms that isn't happening. Dave and Kim have asked me to not bring a plus-one to the wedding for "Leslie's sake." I have told the
    via Long_Assistant8873
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    Edit I have seen a few things brought up a number of times in the comments, so I will quickly address them here: 1. I am fully aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased, and they reimbursed me for a "special event" insurance policy which will provide 100% coverage for any damges, claims, injuries, etc. to any of the property or persons up to $2M. It is one of the first things we did after I agreed to have the event in my home. 2. The wedding will have a maximum, if every comes, of
    via Long_Assistant8873
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    Unsurprisingly, people were on his side.

    ItWorkedInMyHead Pull an Uno Reverse. Tell them Leslie isn't allowed on your property and watch their heads explode.
    via ItWorkedInMyHead
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    Long Assistant8873 OP The petty part of me did absolutely consider saying, "Well, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land so it shouldn't be a problem."
    via Long_Assisstant8873
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    Basic Rabbit4 This is the way. Agree not to bring a date. It's a small concession that actually protects your best interests. Whoever you brought would have the worst time navigating this ex girlfriend drama. Instead tell them that you are not comfortable having Leslie on your property and thank them for bringing this to your attention before the wedding. You had thought you could peacefully coexist with the wedding but if you bringing a date would cause problems than they've opened your eyes to
    via BasicRabbit4
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    Seeker 131313 I mean, if a wedding with only 75 guests warranted hiring FIVE security staff, this sounds like a group well acquainted with drama
    via Seeker131313
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    Not-a-Cranky-Panda They want to tell you who you can have at your own home and think is is fine, they're nuts.
    via Not-a-Cranky-Panda
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    nvbghs If they want to dictate guest rules, they should pay for a venue. He is being generous, and they're being entitled.
    via nvbghs
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    RWAdvice Simplest solution either; 1: Uninvite the crazy ex, who is the reason this is a problem in the first place. 2: Get a different venue
    via RWAdvice
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    Low-Lengthiness-4660 this is bonkers.. i had a cousin that wanted to use my dad's cottage for her baby shower (not thesame, ik- but some similarities to the dynamic here) and she literally told my family we had to TEAR DOWN the shed on the property. needless to say we politely declined, and guess what? she still begged to use it despite everything. the difference was no one felt cool w it at that point soooo the kibosh was put on the whole thing. NTA, this is cooky behavior. take care of ur home
    via Low-Lengthiness-4660
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    sparklycottonbreeze Oh, h I no! They want to use your house, your land, and then have the audacity to tell you who you can and can't bring? You're not some background extra in their event, you own the freaking place! Stand your ground. They can either respect your right to bring whoever you want to your own house, or they can find somewhere else to get married. Not your problem.
    via sparklycottonbreeze
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    6poundpuppy NTAH. Well..... you have 4 choices. 1. Deny them the wedding on your property (unless they "let" you have a date) 2. Allow the wedding and don't have a date. 3. Allow the wedding and bring your date regardless of their wishes. 4. Allow the wedding if they don't invite Leslie. Choice is yours entirely. You'll likely lose the friendship no matter what you do at this point, so just do what makes YOU happy.
    via 6poundpuppy
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    gotsmoxie Wait- it is a "so let me use your land, gazebo, house, and lake to make our wedding happen, but you are not allowed to bring a date because of your ex-girlfriend" request! Not to mention the fact that your land will be trampled on, possibly driven on, partied on, the lake may be used for many interesting or and nefarious deeds, and you may be responsible for all the people that show up because you own the land and the liability for damages or for personal injury may be on your home ins
    via gotsmoxie
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    Chloe_Phyll I thought the same. Are the happy couple paying rent for the use of the land and facilities? Are they paying for the set-up and clean-up of any chairs, tables, decorations, etc.? Are they renting "bathrooms" or do they expect all their guests to use your bathrooms, soap, water, toilet paper, towels, etc.? Who is supplying all these materials? Are they paying to have your landscaping redone after it is trampled on and has trashed dumped on it. Who is going to pay or the plumber when U
    via Chloe_Phyll
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    Top_Put1541 You know that if the couple is so crass as to dictate to the person doing them this favor that they can't have a plus- one on their own property, they are also the kind of vulgarians who will absolutely trash the property and then act like the OP is the monster for holding them accountable. All of this could have been solved with two things: "I won't let you do this for free but I will accept a cash deposit to be returned once the event is done and everything's in order" and a notari
    via Top_Put1541
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    PrairieGrrl5263 NTA. None of this is on you, OP. Having Leslie as a guest at the home where she was going to be a co-owner is enough of a sticky wicket. Attending a wedding at the home of your ex has got to be aaawk-ward, especially since it's Leslie's own stupidity and deceit that caused the breakup. Seriously, a plus one for you would be the least of Leslie's problems. You're not wrong for taking the stand you are, OP; just know this may be the end of these friendships.
    via PrairieGrrl5263
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    Ginger8682 First things first. Have an attorney draft an agreement or waiver between you and the marrying couple, that of anyone gets hurt on your property or if any damage is done to the property the couple is responsible for it not you and your homeowners insurance. Secondly, it's your house do as you please.
    via Ginger8682
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    Meadowember NTA. Its ur house, ur party, u can bring whoever u want. Their request is ridiculous.
    via Meadowember
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    Toffor your problem may be bigger than just this wedding. I've been in a similar-ish situation where an ex and I shared (part of) a social circle. Once she established with our shared friends that my presence was upsetting to her, I found myself iced out of almost all events. Because when she saw that she could dictate if I was invited or not to an event by her acceptance or refusal, she starting going to EVERYTHING (and I was invited to almost nothing). I'd nip this in the bud right now if I we
    via Toffor
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    mcindy28 NTA Stand your ground and di on this hill!! The entitlement is real ... YOU BETTER BRING A DATE!! Or they can find another venue. Question... Are they even paying you?? And don't bring a gift even if they are.
    via mcindy28
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    Long Assistant8873 OP They are paying for the event insurance. But, it is pretty small. But, they are not paying me.
    via Long_Assistant8873

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